Soooo its always cool to get the male perspective .........
-From The Archives of a Predator: The Letter That Was Crumpled and Tossed Back
Dear Flyest Girl In Class,
Do you like me? Yes or No?
If you are leaning toward no, allow me to sway you the other way with this 4 week plan.
Week 1
I will treat you like a perfect gentleman. I will listen to everything that you have to say and even act like I’m interested in the things that you like. Our first date will be to the park to take in the beauty of nature.
Week 2
I’m still listening intently to the things you like and don’t like. I’ll even listen to outdated laments about your former mates. I’ll heed those retrospective complaints and do everything you like, and nothing you don’t.
Week 3
I’m done listening so carefully. Phone calls wane and we spend more time indoors. And if we happen to get physical by now (ideally this would’ve happened on day one), effort goes out the window. I hope to benefit from your lack of prudent judgement.
Week 4
I can text you when I want to get physical. Hopefully you don’t mind. If your pesky self-worth and better judgment outweighs your carnal self, then I’m in luck!
Now, I’ve made my case. So just circle ‘Yes,’ so that we can be happily ever after until finals. Don’t listen to your better judgment because it knows nothing! Thank you for your attention in this matter.
Truly yours,
The innocent smart kid in class.
I was pretty truthful in college…
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