My Love Is Not a Charity Case

I've know it for a long time. When I became fully aware of what it was I cared for it, nurtured it, even defended it against those who tried to blame it for their insecurities and shortcomings. It has been there for me JUST as I am , way before you came along and showed who you were...before and after. Sharing it with you was my choice not an obligation . Just because you claimed to give me yours doesn't mean I was ready to give you all of mine. To be honest what you had to give came with too many disclosures anyway. Too many sacrifices resulted in only one loss...my spirit. Ultimately the only way to accept yours, meant changing mine. While yours was engulfed in emotion, mine was governed by need. I waited for you to show me that you we're capable of giving me what I needed, as I welcomed your necessities...then we would work on what we wanted together. I never expected all of you , just the part of you that made me compatible with you, making it all worth it.

 I was waiting for our differences to join forces ultimately coming together for the common goal: to be and let be. A fish to your bird is was what I became, constantly trying to figure out how I'd make our love work against all our odds...odds that were self inflicted because what you had was no longer easy to handle. My love isn't a charity case.Its unique, flawed, maybe even a little crazy...but in totality, with the right match, its perfect . It makes sense, it has a mind of its own and without your love, my love will be just fine.

Singing..."I hope she cheats on you with a basketball playa"...

Singing...."I hope she cheats on you with a basketball player".....



Ok so apart of growing is defined as realizing that we go through different cycles and seasons in our lives. Well forgive me but I'm gonna revert back to a past season for a just a second! 


This song is so real! Any woman ( even if you don't agree with what shes saying) can at least say that at some point in their lives they have at least felt like wishing this on someone that did them wrong. 


As a strong believer in karma, this song speaks volumes, basically saying that because of what you did to me, I hope she does the same to you... So bad that it doesn't only hurt your heart but it knocks your pride down as well.  For a moment you step outside of yourself and gain just an ounce of relief knowing that payback was served. Kinda the same feeling you got when listening to "bust your windows" by Jazmine Sullivan ! 


The great thing is that as people we do grow and we never stay in a place of negativity for too long. The fact remains that we live and we learn and in that process we realize that it gets better and it gets easier. Pain never last forever and before you know it, you'll soon get over the actions of someone that did you wrong and live your life. Hold onto your past too long and you'll find yourself with no present to remember. 

How "Ride or Die"are you?

Ask most guys and they'll tell you its a requirement to be with them.
"... If you fuck with me than follow me on this journey and together we'll be good in the end. We got each others back.."
Or
" She has to be that backbone through thick and thin..."
Or
"..Made from his side so I feel a "ride or die" lady should stand beside her man thru da ups n downs..."

So ladies, basically, you wanna keep your man ? You gotta show him that you're down for whatever....whenever. But Ask most females and they tell you its a cop out...a selfish way for a guy to keep a woman hanging along. To most women, when a dude says( in the most seductive voice of course)," Baby..I need you to ride it out on this one" or "Boo..you know you're my ride or die chick" it usually translates into the following: "Baby, I intend to act up so I need you to promise to put up with my mess " or Boo, I know things aren't easy right now but I need you to hang on for the rest of this bumpy road until things get better...whenever that may be". Either way, when women start to feel like they need to "ride or die", the relationship begins to go either 1 of 2 ways:


1. She runs for the nearest exit because she just may not be ready to deal with what your about to bring to the table to have her choosing to either" Ride it out" or "Die" in the process...


Or


2. She runs closer to a man cuz she feels like at the end of the day if she chooses to ride...even if she dies...she's not dying alone ...


After surveying the responses of several men( not just boys but responsible men with a good head on their shoulders ) the responses prove that to men...having a" ride or die" woman means a lot....ultimately making or breaking a relationship.


Oddly enough ,you hardly hear a woman ask her man to "ride it out". Why is that?! Whether it be a so-called lack of " good men" or readiness to settle which so many women are guilty of, the point remains that women don't require half as much as a man does when he decides to be in a relationship. Yes, many women have high standards going in, but once were in it...were in it....and then the tables turn. For most, relationships become a game of monopoly in which men occupy all the get out of jail free cards while women are just simply trying to get passed the next level without losing all that they worked so hard for.

Question of the day : Who decided such loyalty starts in a relationship? Isn't that where marriage comes in? Better or for worse? Sickness and in health? Women are under the assumption that true loyalty in totality is given to our husband...not just our bf. Don't get me wrong there should be a level of loyalty shown during the beginning stages of what could be the rest of our lives. HOWEVER there are limits...limits that have to be enforced . Limits that derive from understanding and communication that subliminally states, yes ill be there for you but don't expect me to put my life to the side while you figure out if you'll be there for me. When you start hearing things like,


", when shit hits the fan, i.e.....cheating, losing interest and all types of other man shit we do, you need your lady to be by your side still if that was to happen. You need your lady to make you realize where "home" is."...


Well... It becomes harder and harder to realize it "riding it out" is worth it.


The term ride or die often becomes a cop-out for refusing to accept the consequences of your actions.why? Because you believe you have someone that will always be there. It's not asking for too much for your partner to stick it through tough times, but sometimes we take it too far. And even though this was mostly about the fellas, women are no exception. We too expect men to put up with bullsh*t. Although men usually bring in their drama from the outside, women usually show their "crazy" from within. While riding it out for men may mean dealing with their actions, riding it out for a woman may in fact mean dealing with their emotions. Either way, after a while, you cant expect your partner to deal with it forever.

In today's times we face Baby mama/daddy drama, infidelity, laziness or lock down lovin, yet limits are everywhere. Men need to accept it, and women need to embrace it . After all, someone can only do to you what you let them do...you choose what you do or dont put up with  from the start , the manner in which it affects your ending... you have no one to blame but yourself.

Goal of Beauty's Insight: Inspiring others ....

"Never let a man destroy your life. It might be hard to get over the

man you love, but you won't know until you try. As women we tend to

continue relationships that destroy who we are-physically, socially

and mentally. We give up our individuality, happiness, families,

friends, pride, wealth and success in order to satisfy a man in our

lives. Let's face it girls, we are strong andcan achieve so much

without anyone's help, so why let someone destroy what you worked hard

for? Let's appreciate love and believe in ourselves. Elizabeth Nkau

said "I cooked an cleaned for him, stopped talking to all my male

friends , come home early to him, born a baby for him and what did I

get? A promise to get married, which never happened, two other babies

from another woman, a string of girlfriends calling his house and a

death sentence of HIV/AIDS. Was it all worth it? No. I knew all along

he was cheating but I stayed because I loved him. I never realized he

didn't love me back. A man who loves cheats does not love you, he just

likes you. I am waiting for my last breath as I lie in bed, helpless

knowing I will leave my child without a mother. Ladies please don't

end up like me...."

This is For You Gracie....

July 14, 2009:  The day the world lost one of it's most beautiful angels.. As we look back , there's plenty of things we wish we could've said, things we wished we would've or could've done. But as we've heard so many times before, everything that transpires in this world we live in happens the way it does, when it does, for a reason... A reason that's sometimes far greater than our comprehension here on Earth. Greyssel ( aka Grace)'s passing was heartbreaking for so many of  us in so many ways. Although I wasn't of her most closest friends, her impact on others showed without a doubt what a special woman she really was from her beautiful smile to her even more beautiful heart.

One year later as many of us that knew Grace relive the painstaking details of that tragic day, I hope that we not only pay focus on the glorious life that ended, but the possibilities that may arise as we use Graces story to establish a fresh positive start in our own lives. Many of us go through situations where we don't know where to turn , wondering if we'll ever make it through. One day you wake up and realize that the first and probably the easiest step starts with us. One word: Gratitude. Be grateful, for all of it, every situation,.every burden, every smile, every tear. A lot of times were left pondering why things happen to good people,but there's a lesson to be learned in everything we encounter in life. For those people that have come and exited your life, be grateful for them because whether you believe it or not, you needed them to get over and make it through to your next season of life. For those you love, let them know. And for those that have caused you pain, let them live.


Although she may not be here with us anymore, Grace's sweet spirit will live on in all those shes come across. Personally, over the last year, I've learned a new level of humility that wouldn't have been possible for me to attain if it weren't for Grace. May her soul rest peacefully.

 
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal"
 
R.I.P. Greyssel Gomez
Sunrise: May 15,1985- Sunset : July 14,2009
 
 http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2009/07/19/2009-07-19_moms_date_with_death.html

What has L-O-V-E done for you lately?????

Whether you're in a successful relationship, or single, there is a point when you come to the realization that YOU  define what love is...for YOU.  It's up to you to set the standard for how you want someone to love you. So what is it? Is it everything you ever thought it would be? What lesson did finding love or losing love teach you?  So many of us struggle with this fairytale concept when the actuality is, everyone loves differently and everyone needs to be loved in a different way. So PREACH!!!!...Whether you knew it all along or got hit in the head recently with an epiphany, what's something that you learned from LOVE???

Showin' some B.I. Love.....

At Beauty's Insight, it's all about showing love and support to everyone that has an experience to share. This entry will shout out those that are on the come up and grind consistently to keep moving forward. They deserve to be heard, or you should at least know who they are. I'm sure this won't be the last!


Introducing,


DJ Playboy!

Thank you DJ Playboy for always keeping our I-PODs fresh !  For all your music needs, check out the website and see for yourself : Its all about the Young MiLLionaire Music group movement. Get with it.....and see for yourself what everyone's talking about.
http://www.youngmillionairemusic.com/


My personal favorite :


Orientation pt 2: Freshman class Edition.

Introducing,

Keef!


B.I . would like to show love to the man that always keeps us entertained....with a consistent smile on our faces. Keef is most definitely on the come-up with a fresh, yet hilarious insight on the world around us.





Check out more clips at :  www.youtube.com/keefcomedy
Show him love at : www.twitter.com/keefcomedy, www.nobodystoken.com




Also, I highly encourage you to support the mixtape that''s blazin  the streets man! Download the free mixtape @ www.tinyurl.com/NewSwag !